The Compliment Challenge: Let’s Go Deeper!

I wish you could see yourself the way I see you...

Have you ever had a friend say something self-deprecating, and it completely caught you off guard? Maybe they made a comment about their appearance, their abilities, or their worth, and you thought, There’s no way they actually believe that about themselves—do they? Because to you, they are incredible.

I've said it more than once... I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.

The Power of Perspective

And I mean it with all my heart. When someone I care about speaks badly about themselves, I just want to grab their shoulders and say, Stop bullying my friend! Because that’s exactly what it is—bullying ourselves. I am guilty of it too. I fail to show myself the same love and compassion I show my friends.

When I'm able to catch myself in the act I have this internal dialogue "Would you talk to your best friend that way? Would you talk to ANYONE that way? If you were your own best friend, what would you say to yourself? Would you still be as critical or would you speak kindly?"

Giving Meaningful Compliments

The reality is, people may not know how wonderful they are because no one has told them. They may not see what we see. We freely compliment clothes, hairstyles, and shoes—sometimes even to complete strangers—but how often do we compliment the deeper things?

Recently, I was at a multi-day conference and saw a woman wearing a gorgeous green dress. The next day, I finally had the chance to tell her, You wore a green dress yesterday, right? I just wanted to say, you looked absolutely stunning in it! She beamed, said thank you, and we both walked away feeling good.

But what if I had gone further? What if I had shared with her everything I thought when I saw her in that beautiful green dress? What if I had told her, Beyond your dress, I noticed your presence in the room—you exude such confidence, kindness, and warmth. I admire that about you. Can you imagine how much more impactful that compliment would be?

Challenge Yourself to Go Deeper

When was the last time you told a friend:

• I admire how you try new things with such confidence.

• You are such a patient and loving mother, one of the best moms I know.

• I’m so impressed by how you juggle a career and parenthood. I know it’s not easy, but you make it look effortless.

• I am in awe of your memory and the way you retain information—your mind is incredible!

I know I would love to hear what my friends and even strangers see in me beyond the surface. So, I’m challenging myself to give compliments that go deeper—beyond clothing and hairstyles (though I’ll still give those too because, why not?). If you’re up for the challenge too, let me know how it goes!

A little kindness can go a long way. Let’s help people see themselves the way we see them. 💛